Spiritual Girl

So. She asked me if I was spiritual at all, as she was very spiritual.
So, I carefully explained that all creatures are predisposed to anxiety, genetically, in order to run away from danger. Monkeys who are born and raised in laboratories, masturbate constantly in order to distract and relieve their over-anxiety. Obsessive and compulsive repetitive behavior.
In fact, knowing that, one can go to the zoo and observe which monkeys came from the wild and which came from labs, simply by spending an hour watching creatures masturbate. I mean it doesn’t cure the problem, but it distracts enough to offer some relief, as over anxiety is very real discomfort.
OK then, so somewhere along the line some bright person starting a church to enslave people into giving up their time and money, offered relief from over-anxiety through the distraction of repetitive obsessive compulsive behavior, chanting, prayer ritual, etc. and of course said masturbation was bad, for various made up reasons, but mostly to kill the competition, and keep the cash flow going. Promises of no more anxiety in the afterlife as well, if you buy their product, also helped to seal the deal.
Social acceptance is a powerful tool, especially in small communities, as anxiety always goes with hostility, in these gentle religious spiritual folks, shunning being the passive aggressive tool of choice, which can be devastating in small communities with not a lot of mobility and choices. Even on Facebook with millions of choices, getting defriended after comparing the pope and the dali lama to masturbating monkeys is a bit of a sting.
So. As our communities grew and evidence based psychology grew from the Greek philosophies of a couple of thousand years ago, (Epicurus for example), we learned to question the beliefs, often fostered by church groups and spiritual folks, that caused over anxiety. Beliefs that always included the words must or should, I mean these are authoritarian in the extreme, which become fanaticism and fascism, when very extreme.
Beliefs such as I must be liked and accepted and do well or else I am a piece of garbage, others must do what I say is the right thing or they deserve punishment, and finally, the world must be convenient or I can’t stand it. There is no evidence for any of that, and upon seeing this, over-anxiety ceases to exist, as well as other consequences, and people are now free to masturbate for pleasure with themselves or a helpful friend instead of dire need like a monkey in a zoo.
I mean that’s the problem with having sex with new age spiritual people, they zone out, like on a drug, and are no longer part of the proceedings, I mean they certainly aren’t a giving/recieving, loving, attentive partner, they are more in feeding mode than anything, soaking up anxiety relief.
Prayer chanting meditation and other rituals go out the window as well, because we no longer need the ‘medicine’ after the pain is gone, do we? For an artist, the work changes as we are now free to explore, rather than do repetitive rubber stamp art over and over. This is the mother of invention.
So, I don’t imagine I will get to find out what happens with spiritual girl, as I’m not looking to get used like medicine or have a bunch of shoulds and musts laid on me instead of frank conversation and willingness to compromise. I imagine that as soon as the nice lady reads this the shunning and possibly hostility on the way out the door will ensue.
Too bad, OK what can I do to bring satisfaction to my day today?

Leave a Reply