Pairs of Opposites are really the same Thing

Yesterday my stuff went into storage. I went into hospital with a stroke two months ago. It’s going to be awhile before I can get a place and operate it and pay for it.
What is crucial is how I look at it.
Self defeating or self helping.
The facts are, this isn’t awful or terrible. Awful or terrible means I will die from this. This is a hassle. I have to do workouts every day to recover. I work out every day anyway, I like it.
I live at the hospital because this is the best place to recover. I have no choice about that but I have choice in how I look at it. Some people at the hospital will never think, speak or eat again after a stroke. I only have to walk and use my righr arm and hand again. They say this will happen, it is happening.
My cat has a good home. Is it awful that I gave up my cat or is it good that even sick with a stroke I found him a good home? The truth is I miss my cat and I’m glad I don’t have the responsibilities. I miss my car and my household and I’m relieved to be free of the responsibilities.
So it comes in pairs.
I’m experiencing recovery from a stroke. I feel sad that it happened and determined to get better.
Sitting here having coffee and writing. Is it so terrible?
I, as an artist, got re-validated (in reality I’m always a professional artist with formal qualifications) by professional colleagues and it came along with this stroke. Funny how that happens.
I had felt estranged from the art community due to some smear campaigns by narcissists, ex’s and alcoholics mostly but I saw them as having influence in my professional community. The cognitive distortion is that a smear campaign spreads like wildfire. The truth is that people have free will and the power of choice, they make up their own minds. Anyway, I thought my career was over but I continued to make work and exhibit on the net. I was convinced that everyone hated me now. When I had my stroke I asked for help from a community aid program for professional artists, thinking they would find ways to disqualify me. I was convinced of it in fact. When they immediately called a jury to assess my work and my c.v., then immediately gave me the grant, it went a long way to heal a very major part of my life.
Likewise an internet friend, Cliff Eyland, a prof teaching art at U of Manitoba, heard of my plight and bought a piece of my art in support of me.
So having a stroke wiped out my old pain about career and community and I kickstarted  my new life. Healing as I go.
Funny how that happens.

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