Being Liked

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I must be liked or else I am a failure, means I can’t be assertive to ask for what I want, because assertive people are often not liked. (by assholes). So I could become a doormat that spins round and round in the circle game of being held hostage by the fear of not being liked.
Being unliked is not pleasant but it won’t kill me. If I don’t get what I want, such as my right to get what I pay for, at least I have my self respect for having asserted my right.
One nurse, during my stay in hospital, a male Christian and aggressive evangelist, didn’t like me when I said I preferred quiet to his selling his religion, I was respectful but firm, and he didn’t like me.
I overheard him say, ya well nobody comes to visit him anyway, meaning me, which was true. So in his eyes and many others I was a failure in the visitors numbers oneupmanship game. I didn’t realize this till later as
I was too busy connecting on-line and appreciating my friends all over the world, who contributed to my gofundme and got me a place to live, a really nice place too, simply because I asked.
One friend from my former day gig courier, a deep deep introvert that really needed his alone time to recharge, gave up his Sundays for 5 months to get me out of hospital once a week.
How many dedicated friends do you need to be not a failure? 1? 10? 10,000? Or just myself unconditionally, because others likes and dislikes can change with the wind, others likes and dislikes only describe them, not me.
Anyway I love you guys without reservation and its unconditional simply because I do.
So there.

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