The Problem Isn’t Their Narcissism

The problem isn’t the narc. The problem happens when I believe, without evidence, that I must have love. Then I can be recruited by love bombing, then manipulated by guilt fear obligation. If it’s a religion or a cult or a relationship of any kind, it doesn’t matter, because when I say I highly prefer to have love, but I don’t HAVE to, then I am loving me, and not dependent on others. It’s nice to have, but it’s not fatal, even though uncomfortable to not have it at (trigger) times. I can seek others to love me (healthily), I can focus on hobbies and other pleasurable pursuits, I can work on accepting myself without condition. I am in an adult with adult responsibilities relationship with myself. This is really helpful when the inevitable smear campaign makes for a quieter social life.

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