According to Dr. Burns the CBT guy, a successful relationship is based on 20 things I find satisfying. So I rate my level of satisfaction 1-5 for each thing. This gives me a percentage when I add it up.
20% – coffee buddy
40%- dining dance sex whatever
60% – marriage
Because a successful relationship means I am accepting and putting up with 40% bullshit.
Because I’m not a damned perfectionist.
There are deal breakers like drug addiction etc. but I am talking reasonable mentally/emotionally compatible adults from the get go.
So what about my relationship with me?
Here I find I am a damned perfectionist.
I must I should endlessly, making myself anxious and depressed for not being perfect.
Then along comes a stroke, and now I’m really not perfect. Now I’m fucked because I’m living with a tyrant. Me.
Is there any evidence that I must should be perfect at anything?
I highly prefer to, and so I work hard, but I don’t have to.
here is my 20 things:
attractive to me
mentally/emotionally reasonable health
likes to dine out/coffee shop
likes healthy food
frank conversation willing to compromise
has at least one strong interest
liberal at least
life long educated learner