“Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is the life & work of its creator, Dr. Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Central to REBT’s teachings is the ancient psychological insight of Epictetus, who said, “What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgments on events.” That idea helped REBT become both an effective, evidence-based psychotherapy and a philosophy of living.” – Will Ross rebtnetwork.org
OK then. I’m at the transmission shop, having just given the owner $6500.00 and my car is leaking oil, again. Still. All the O rings, whatever they are, have been replaced blah blah blah, mechanics bullshit, and it turns out they didn’t tighten the oil plug.
Then, looking at my cane and stroke affected arm, he wants to wonder how I handle all this ‘bad luck’. He complained previously of being stressed out, he is losing his remaining teeth, constantly eating sugar candies.
I said life is random, if I demand the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune shouldn’t happen, I’ll be asking that my next lover or art patron won’t arrive either.
High tolerance of frustration is the key to success in any endeavor, including, being alive. It doesn’t mean being comfortable it means tolerating discomfort.
Like if he went to the dentist he would learn to tolerate it, and find out it’s less discomfort than not going and having teeth rotting in your head.
Like going to the tranny shop and basically making a new car. Runs like a new car and it’s time consuming and expensive to attain. Short term pain for long term gain.
Then he reveals his source of anxiety: “I suppose God wouldn’t give you what you can’t handle.” I said if you believe that. I prefer to think that events are 50% a pain and 50% not, random, like throwing a coin.
I used to agree with him, avoid the dentist and other self helping discomforts. In return for lifelong discomfort. A very poor trade off.
So my limited budget is more limited than before. I can learn to tolerate this discomfort by making my own coffee to go, rather than Starbucks for example, focusing on how well I am budgeting and enjoying the coffee costing me 25 cents rather than $3.50.
I can go for drives with my camera because the car is cheap to operate and fun to drive.
I can enjoy my hobby of reading and building my library, The Library of The Duchy of Jerald.
See? Already I’m having fun and my teeth and car are healthy.