The Model

Why don’t you get model releases? Well it’s collaborative, so they get half. I get verbal permission to use their image, how they have chosen to present themselves to the world after my work is finished, if they don’t approve I destroy it. Two artists working together. Some people like to be nude, but not painted blues and nude. *shrug*

Slavery

why

I feel like I have paid off a huge mortgage. Dumping guilt when it has been used for a lifetime, to manipulate me is like that.

Guilt is the result of feeling responsible for things we aren’t responsible for, Dr. David Burns, Feeling Good the New Mood Therapy.

When you have had a narcissistic parent, or have belonged to a religion, or have been groomed by cult recruiters, they all used guilt. Backed up and reinforced with obligation and fear.
Authoritarian in the extreme, which is another way of describing fascism, living in a world of black and white, all or nothing, should and must.
For the purposes of Slavery. Very simply, you exist to give your life for another’s satisfaction, not your own.

Emotional consequences of being a slave of should and must are: guilt, shame, embarrassment, rage, depression and anxiety. Dr. Albert Ellis, The Myth of Self Esteem.

Musts and shoulds are a programmed belief system. They are deprogrammed by one simple question: where is the evidence for my belief?

There never is any. Ever. Period.

The slavery programming beliefs all boil down to this:

I must do well and win the approval of others or else I am no good.

Other people must do “the right thing” or else they are no good and deserve to be punished.

Life must be easy, without discomfort or inconvenience.

The dispute to being a slave goes like this:

Others likes and dislikes only describe them, never me. The fact someone prefers chocolate over strawberry doesn’t describe me one bit. Since the purpose of my life is satisfaction, even if I lose an arm and a leg, I can deal with it as best I can, then ignore it, and create some form of satisfaction for myself using my free will and power of choice. I may not have as many choices as I had before, but I still have some.
Slaves have no free will and power of choice. There is no evidence that I am a slave.

I am not the ruler of the universe, there is no evidence that I know what is ‘the right thing’ for anyone or often even myself. I use my preferred satisfactions, sometimes get professional help, like when my car needs work or I require medical or legal advice, then use my best guess to guide my decisions. The evidence is I am human so I am often mistaken and so is everyone else. We often need to make adjustments to our thinking and actions. This is called creativity and problem solving. We are very very good at this. This is normal.

When life is not easy, uncomfortable and inconvenient there is no evidence that I can’t stand it. Saying I can’t stand it, it’s terrible and awful, is saying I will die from this. There is no evidence that I am dead.
There is evidence that this is a royal pain and very inconvenient, and I should feel motivating disappointment and sadness, grief and a sense of loss because something uncomfortable and inconvenient just happened. This is a healthy negative response which motivates me to do something, take some action to deal with it., suchs talking to strangers and asking for what I want. The best love affairs and biggest business deals were all created starting with small talk between strangers asking for what they want.

Q: What are you doing since having a stroke, just sitting on the couch? I actually had a doc who said this to me.
A: Well, if I found that satisfying I would certainly do that, since the purpose of my life is my satisfaction. Since it’s in my best interests to exercise daily, and at the gym 3 times a week, write and publish 2 artbooks, working on a third, apply to do public art in Calgary and Banff, apply for project grants and provincial acquisition of my work and start dating again since I really like sex with interesting strange women and that’s the best way to meet them and do that, start driving again and do road trips with my camera, all the while learning French, Spanish and Italian from posts by beautiful and talented self portrait artist friends, because life is too short to learn German, while learning publishing creation tools like Illustrator and Indesign, yes, when I’m not doing those things I love just sitting on the couch. Going for walks to the coffee shop is fun too…

Empathy in the Genius of Art and Art Criticism


Rembrandt van Rijn
Dutch Painter, Draftsman, Printmaker
Movements and Styles: The BaroqueDutch Golden Age
Born: July 15, 1607 – Leiden, the Dutch Republic
Died: October 4, 1669 – Amsterdam

The writer says Emanuela Cau has a lot of empathy, and she’s right.

This lifetime light came on then for me, I realized it’s why I prefer artists like Rembrandt and Cliff Eyland. Empathy.

Others who are good technicians, of any discipline, learned a technique and practised it, like anyone can, and that’s their work for life, some get incredibly good at it.

Based on the criteria of art is a record of the human experience, valuing the beauty of the handmade mark for instance, the technician is lost, all he values is technique, which anyone can learn.
He is likened to a recording where all trace of the human hand on the strings is removed, like photoshopped breasts, the ‘blemishes’ removed.

The technicians are crafty, clever and manipulative. Con-men.
Banksy is a good example for me. An amusing well executed one off. I have no interest in seeing his cartoons more than once.

I could look at Rembrandt’s feathers for days and have. “An innovative and prolific master in three media, he is generally considered one of the greatest visual artists in the history of art and the most important in Dutch art history.” – wiki.

Rembrandt never travelled in search of technique to copy. Lastman, Caravaggio and Rubens came to him. Why? Empathy, that made him the real deal, genuine, not a trickster not a scam artist.
His personal tragedy was great, losing several children and his wife, eventually all his money as well. This informed his art and his audience with humanity.
We have never seen Banksy, that’s part of his scam, like a bank robber we only see an effect.

Why do I value empathy? It’s those who don’t have it who have hurt me. The defining characteristic of sociopaths is their lack of empathy.
Narcissists are good at the technique of appearance of empathy, but they hate me for mine.
I make them look bad when I call them on the bullshit they use to make themselves appear special, usually by removing any evidence of themselves in their guilt and shame.

I hate bullies who try to make themselves look better by making others look bad. The art critics without empathy specializes in that technique and are my special disgust.

Art critics who care deeply about the human condition, like Paddy Johnson, are my special love, and when they call bullshit, I get a great feeling of satisfaction, and appreciation for the cost of their sacrifice.

People with empathy, like Rembrandt, don’t have what it takes to fuck people over, to be true capitalists and they often die in the poorhouse. I was born there and learned survival there. I’m used to it, so I have less risk in calling bullshit and being alone, and ill without funds. It ain’t pleasant but it ain’t terrible neither.
I am not dependant, and overly scared, using people with the technique of charm.
I have a very few friends and a few acquaintances, all with empathy, so I am rich beyond measure. It’s like having Rembrandt and his feathers to hang around with.
I would rather see the pain in the eyes of his self portraits or the love in those of Emanuela Cau, than the stone coldness of the words of a faked empathy used by a manipulator and a con man.

Art as Choice

A professional artist (visual) after 6 years of 12 to 18 hours a day training, looking at images, the genius of art history, and a further say 20 years of practice, understands every pictorial element they choose to place in an image and why they made those choices. A composer knows every note on the page, a writer every word, of conscious choice.
Those who don’t are called amateurs.
The notions of subconscious theory of art making were made popular in modernity by Clement Greenberg, a non art maker wanting to keep his status as godlike critic, gatekeeper for the galleries, like Jerry Saltz is struggling to do today. Greenberg was against artist education famously saying ‘keep them stupid’.
The psychotherapeutic notions of subconscious and ego are from the early 1900’s, and have been long replaced by evidence based cognitive therapies. 
The evidence is I placed these visual elements together using educated free will and power of choice, based on the 800 years of history and tradition of western European Art History. I favour the use of the golden mean from ancient Greece as a composition technique for example. I choose not to use the history and traditions of Indigenous culture, or the cultures thousands of years older than mine of India, China or the Middle East.
That there are secret motivations (my subconscious sexual attraction to my mother and my ego wanting to kill my father to replace him) with secret mind powers that control my choices is not supported by known evidence.
Free will and the power of choice, grant me responsibility and authorship of my work, no one else.

a letter to my cult recruiter

I wrote a post, https://jeraldblackstock.ca/wp/2019/02/13/social-anxiety/  about how I was groomed from birth, (part of a future publication on my deprogramming from the abuse of the cult recruiters of Yasodhara Ashram), by a narcissist borderline personality parent, which made me a prime target for the cult recruiters, Sylvia Hellman and Susan Oughtred.

Using the narcissist stare, these two emulated a mothers love, that unblinking bonding look a mother has for her child, and like my own mother, abusively used it for purposes of manipulation and creating life long dependance. 


Those gentle affirmations I saw today in your video on the Ashram site, that you are never quite good enough, but by buying more courses and donating more labour…..


Anything that puts a person down in this way is an abuse.
Any person who categorically dissects a person as being ‘unworthy’ is an abuser.
Any system (such as Kundalini Yoga) which does the same is fascist as defined by Dr. Albert Ellis. (https://jeraldblackstock.ca/wp/2018/03/21/the-case-against-religion/)


Susan, I saw your video, on the Ashram site telling people that they were losers, and they should send more money and give up more of their lives, to become people of self esteem, as defined by you.
This is a formula as old as time to manipulate with fear, obligation and guilt. Simply put, it is a carnival trick to sell snake oil. It goes like this:
1. You are broken, unevolved or whatever. Anything that starts with ‘you’ then describes you negatively is an abuse. 
2. I’m going to fix it.Yoga courses or whatever the snake oil du jour is. That’s the power imbalance of the abuser proclaiming her enlightenment or some such magic that you don’t have because of your brokenness. 
3. It’s going to cost you money. This is where they start raping your bank account, like any good con artist. 
4. You have to keep coming back. That’s the abuse of dependency creation, the money shot as they say. The reason you have to keep coming back is that it doesn’t work. 

In fact, as any ruthless leech knows, the victim gets sicker of course, and eventually either dies, I almost suicided, or gets deprogrammed at the hospital where this is well known, and I was smart enough to go and seek treatment.. The treatment is to start seeking evidence for your beliefs that you have been programed in: that you are a broken loser. There never is any evidence.


In fact the health system is the opposite of an abusive cult like Yasodhara Ashram in the following ways.  Doctors seek evidence, they are evidence based. They really like it when you don’t come back. It’s called a cure. In my country, initiated (there’s that word) by me and my friends in the Liberal party, this treatment is free. 100%
In contrast, your ‘treatments’ (leaching of time and money) cost a lot, hurts people, and they don’t work, based on evidence. They are extremely authoritarian, an attempt to keep control of and demanding inappropriate self sacrifice, such as giving up sex and other fundamental needs of communication and companionship.

People who don’t get their basic needs met for communication, companionship and sex become anxious, and the yoga woo woo (prayer, meditation, chanting etc.) is a good distraction from the intentionally induced anxiety, but not a cure. In fact the distraction from the induced extreme anxiety feels so good it gets called a spiritual experience or enlightenment.

Extreme authoritarianism used to induce this anxiety is also known as fascism. (What was it that Sylvia Hellman did during the second world war in Germany to survive? Another friendly fascist?)


People who don’t get their needs met for communication, companionship and sex become anxious, and people who stay anxious long enough became depressed, and people who stay depressed long enough suicide. All rolled up in a mother’s love, the narcissists stare.


So, this is fair warning, I will be writing and publishing on your cult and my deprogramming, and how I almost died, but got help, barely in time. So, using not only my personal experience with your organization, and you, in classes for several years at Radha House and Yasodhara Ashram, as well as commonly available references on cults and the harm you people do my intent is to break the shame at being conned by you creatures. My art site just past a million views, my work on my publisher’s site just passed 3 million views, my google reviews just passed 11,000 views. In the last six months. 
My references are:

 

The Practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: Second Edition. By Albert Ellis, PhD, Windy Dryden, PhD

The Case Against Religion – by Albert Ellis, PhD

Boundaries Are the Best Protection Against Narcissists, Borderlines and Other Predators –  by Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD



In a alternate universe Susan, we would have been friends and lovers, a great match in so many ways. Two artists, romantics, who love our cats Dear Jethro, Dear Leopold, and many other compatibilities, our love for music and dance, and for each other, for example.

These were the very things that made us vulnerable to charmingly ruthless, manipulative, competitive, jealous, cult recruiters in the first place. When we were starting to bond as humans do, so Sylvia Hellman sent you to Germany, to get you away, she had plans for you as a recruiter, your desires and your life didn’t matter, she planned to suck your very life away for her purposes. I didn’t matter either, fortunately as it turned out, I couldn’t recreate a mothers love as well as you, I don’t have the narcissist stare; the bait on the hook. 
Who says the hook doesn’t hurt the fish?

JeraldBlackstock dip. (Alberta University of the Arts), BFA, CPF.

www.jeraldblackstock.ca   

Sylvia Hellman cult recruiter

Susan Oughtred cult recruiter

Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships

 

Groundhog Day Abandonment

REBT Self-Help Form

What is the situation that you are upset about?

     Answer: Had a cabbie who was angry and demanding, my response was typical post stroke, unable to speak well and very emotional. I later called the dispatcher who was skeptical, both he and driver manipulating with fear anxiety and guilt, threatening to call Access and through implication that I would lose my Access privileges.

What are the unhealthy negative emotions that you are experiencing?

     Answer: anxiety, hurt, guilt.

What self-defeating behaviors would you like to change?

     Answer: self downing and withdrawing from Checker and Access services, and other other places that require being assertive to ask for what I want, like the restaurant.

What demand are you making about the situation?

     Answer: I must perform well or I am an inadequate worthless person

     Dispute: Is there any evidence that I am inadequate and worthless because I had a stroke and I really feel things, not easily shrugged off??

     Rational Belief: There is absolutely no evidence, it’s simply part of recovery of an injury

What are your new healthy negative emotions?

     Answer: sadness, annoyance, disappointment, concern

What are your new self-helping behaviors?

     Answer: I spoke to the access supervisor, who validated my concern, I can’t make others angry, that is their choice. And their consequences. Found a nicer restaurant where they take the time to listen to me.

Groundhog Day

Ok what does this remind me of? Constantly being dumped by my parent for sure, someone who is supposed to care for me, one who can’t totally care for himself.

Feb 1972, all my roomies moved leaving me with a big place, added a roomy, Ken McKasgill, from volunteering at the drug centre, but I worked too much to be available as he wished, so he moved. Also had a bad serious cold, as I had recently, driving Yellow cabs my first taxi job. Friends abandonment at a  Vancouver trip  at xmas. David Derbis wrongly accusing me of screwing Cath there, making it so uncomfortable, Gudrun grudgingly bought me a train ticket home,  F.O.G. ( Fear Obligation Guilt) all around. Drove taxi NYE very ill very cold, overindulged in feel good behaviors: smoked a lot of dope ate poorly, got evicted as Yellow gave me a .46 paycheck,  my sister wouldn’t let me sleep on her couch, my brother quit taking my calls, Gudrun fucked John Eastland, I left the relationship heartbroken..

Self helping actions I took at that time

Got a new apt, moved in,

Applied for E.I. even though the cab company said I was a contractor and got it, the cab company was fined for income tax evasion.

Found a new job driving ,made new friends, more money, however the guilt and depression, kept me from happiness and satisfaction with life.

Eventually I landed at Killarny taxi, due to the narcissism of Donny, my taxi employer, who abandoned everybody, including his daughter, a recent friend of mine, who will abandon me soon if she hasn’t already, bored like her Dad, and finding no more use for me.

Killarny was bought by Al, with his wife’s money, who saved him from whoring and drinking it away, before he eventually died young. I worked there off and on for 20 years getting dumped regularly and hired back, the narcissist creed, overvalue, undervalue, dump, rinse and repeat. My recreated family, a place I knew how to survive in, but at the cost of always waiting for the other shoe to drop, which it invariably did.

The last time they fired me, I went to art school, got an education and created a career for myself. I still used transport as a backup transitional needs job, and eventually as full time income in courier, I liked it, the money was steady, I worked alone.

I had a stroke when I was 64, a serious one, but experiencing a good recovery, expecting a good outcome, finding myself taking my old taxi companies’ cabs, part of handicapped Access, and experiencing how they inflict their fear obligation guilt of their dysfunctional family on the handicapped, through their drivers of choice.

So here I am feeling like I am back in that old place, overly involved in that family cab company threatened constantly waiting to be fired.

So I called the Access lady, a supervisor named something like Ashlynnd, and she was so cool, she said I couldn’t make the driver angry, if he treated me with anger, and threats, it was a customer service failure.

A management failure, a training failure. I have an injury I’m not supposed to be 100%,  I’m not always at my best. That’s why they gave me Access in the first place.

I don’t have secret mind powers that control the driver’s choices to abandon their training.

That they work in a dysfunctional family dynamic, where they are threatened, harassed, poorly trained, whatever, is really none of my business.

I no longer need to be enmeshed in anybodies dysfunctional family, theirs or my original one.

I fired them long ago, for cause; abuse and abandonment.

I see no reason to hire them back due to their lack of qualifications.

I will assert, accept and tolerate, and often, enjoy the drivers until I am more recovered, able to take the bus or get a car.

Graphic Design

I like design that isn’t grid based, so that means its organic, so that means its reduced to one of the fundamentals, so that means it’s an abstraction, emphasizing one element and reducing the rest. Grid based organization of pictorial elements is fascist and over authoritarian, such as ‘best practices’ nonsense for web and print design…such as typing in this little box…

Dog Town

I live in a very conservative, orderly, and authoritarian city. I make art about it, and have studied it all my life. The residents are typical fascists, who like dogs because they are predictable, obey commands and are orderly, friendly and are ‘good for something’.
Friendly fascists who are stone cold killers, who start wars, they like wars, and the orderly authoritarian military in charge. In other words they suffer from a deep anxiety, as all bullies do and the cognitive distortion, “others must do the right thing or they deserve to be punished” like the dogs mentioned previously. More consequences of that notion here: http://www.rebtnetwork.org/library/musts.html
I paint the world around me that has been stripped of life and colour by folks like this and notions they suffer from, and impose on others.

Carfac Alberta, Shaping Alberta Exhibition

Hi, I’m trying to do a budget and in order to do a proposal for your Carfac Alberta exhibition opportunity. I have a few questions.
You mentioned a ‘nominal artist fee’ how much money is that exactly?
Your call ask for ‘the work of artists who – through the creation of art – communicate, influence and build creatively vibrant and connected visual arts communities we live and work in.’ This is a very vague and virtually meaningless statement, please clarify; since most 2 dimensional visual art is non collaborative, and studio practices are inherently competitive for the small amount of wall space (the politics of the wall) and the very limited funds available. This sounds like a project better suited for the internet, in fact I am having difficulty discerning an intelligible thematic discourse. What does ‘creatively vibrant’ mean; communicate – what exactly; influence who and for what purpose? These questions all speak to addressing my moral rights, as per the Carfac national website: ( Moral rights include: The right to protect your artwork against distortion, alteration or mutilation in a way which prejudices your reputation; The right to associate your name as the author of your work or remain anonymous if you choose and The right to protect your visual image from association with a cause, a product, service, or institution to which you are personally opposed.) 
Do you plan on compensating for  Carfac copyright and exhibition fees?
 http://carcc.ca/en/fee_schedule_2019_exhibition#A12
I’m a professional artist currently working in digital media, the cost of printing, framing, shipping and insuring the work can easily exceed C$500.00 and its often more when I paint. How will I be compensated for these out of pocket costs incurred in order to exhibit in your show, over and above the exhibition fee. Or is this considered a donation? Are you a registered charity able to produce receipts for Revenue Canada?
The ‘membership fee’ you require to exhibit, is it a one time cost or is it pay to play? Is it included the exhibition fee? 
Tell me how you plan to insure the work, for what amount and who pays the deductible, and what amount that is in case of damage.
Will the condition reports, before and after exhibition, including photo documentation, be made available to the artist and my insurance broker?
I look forward to your clarifications, because honestly this ‘call’ looks more like clickbait to attract an amatuer and independently wealthy dilettante membership, rather than working professional artists who depend on their art to make a living and who  ‘communicate, influence and build creatively vibrant and connected visual arts communities’ simply by having a viable and affordable art practice they are well compensated for.  
Kind regards
Jerald Blackstock dip.(ACAD), BFA, CPF
www.jeraldblackstock.ca

Proposal for Empathy Week

Hello,
I am a fine artist and critical writer on social issues from a personal perspective. My first career was in drug dependence counselling, and I have a background as a professional, teaching and exhibiting art, and also as a volunteer doing art as therapy, using the creative model in long term care facilities. My clients have been primarily those with neurological disorders, as my now deceased partner suffered with Huntington’s Disease, and I was Huntington’s Society volunteer coordinator, art facilitator and art fundraiser.
Last year I suffered a stroke and spent 6 months in hospital, on a neuro-recovery ward. I now live on my own, continuing to recover. My home was an apartment up 4 flights of stairs, and I couldn’t return. I was homeless and my possessions in storage, my cat in a new home.
While in hospital I started a gofundme, on the net, raising 1700.00 so that I could no longer be homeless, first months rent and damage deposit. I have family in Calgary, and across the country, but they are very conservative and totally lacking empathy. One member, my military brother, posted on my gofundme: go on welfare. So most of the contributors were Facebook friends and colleagues that I have never met. People with empathy.
So I wrote about my experience with empathy, it’s opposite narcissism, and my psychological recovery tools, Cognitive therapy in the form of REBT, daily on a blog. All the  while meeting weekly with a psychotherapist, dealing primarily with issues of empathy and how it can be faked as a recruitment tool for various cults, religions, new age marketers and similar predators of the vulnerable.
I have created a  portfolio, of primarily street photography but I refuse to create images of the homeless because on the street, I am in their home, and going into someone’s home uninvited taking photos is an invasion and intrusive. Other folks though don’t have an expectation of privacy in a public place, by law, the idea being they shouldn’t be doing private things in a public place. We are photographed and videoed  hundreds of times a day without permission or knowledge. My work challenges concepts on both sides of the issue of empathy towards the unsuspecting subject.
The blog which I started in hospital and the ongoing photojournalism are located on my website. www.jeraldblackstock.ca  Feel free to contact me around possible uses for either, in a separate venue or just leaving it on my site and publicizing it (my preference due to my current mobility issues). 
I am a member of Carfac and request use of their contract guidelines, for copyright and exhibition fees.
I became aware of this opportunity through the Carfac newsletter.
Kind regards

Jerald Blackstock dip.(ACAD), BFA, CPF
www.jeraldblackstock.ca

the narcissists stare
Blackstock ’16
digital various sizes